


Bigtop Burger: Boiga

by SioDymph



Category: BIGTOP BURGER (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking, Crack, F/F, burn - Freeform, covid mention, hand burn, remember kids: hot oil is hot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SioDymph/pseuds/SioDymph
Summary: When Tim calls in sick, it's up to Penny (and Billie) to cook up some tasty boigas.
Relationships: Billie (Bigtop Burger)/Penny (Bigtop Burger)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	Bigtop Burger: Boiga

**Author's Note:**

> So I ended up writing another little Bigtop Burger fic, these guys are just so much fun to write I couldn't help it lol
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> ((Also, AO3 created a tag for Bigtop Burger!!! I'm so stoked!))

It finally happened…

When Bigtop Burger least suspected it, disaster struck.

And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

For the first time ever, since they were hired, Tim called in sick.

“It’s high time this plague stopped.” Steve said melodramatically. “It’s taken my best boy!”

“Tim doesn’t have Covid.” Penny mentioned lightly. “He said he got a stomach bug, no breathing or heart problems.”

“He better not.” Billie added.

“These blasted unprecedented times.” Steve grumbled before sulking back to his office.

“Until he gets better though, I guess I’m working the grill.” Penny cheered.

“Do you know anything about cooking?” Billie asked.

“Sure!” Penny replied. “I cook all the time. I do stir fries, brownies, cookies, chicken nugets… Um… I make a lot of ramen? But I doctor it up to make it nice. You know?”

“That doesn’t automatically mean you can cook burgers.” Billie replied.

“I’m sure it can’t be too tricky.” Penny countered. “Tim does it all the time. And when you think about it, we’re the ones who make the sandwhiches, get all the lettuce and tomatoes and the clown-sauce. All he has to do is cook the patties. How hard can it be?”

Realizing she probably wouldn’t be able to talk her out of it, Billie sighed. “Fine. I’m gonna look up some stuff about, like, how to cook burgers without giving people salmonella.”

“You do that. And I’m gonna get the grill prepped!” Penny said.

“Do you know what temperature to set it at?”

Penny’s tried to remember but shook her head. “Uhhhhhhhhhhh, no. Whenever Tim cooks, the grills ripping hot. So I think we need to get everything as hot as it’ll go!”

“So you’re just gonna put it on the highest setting?” Billie asked, concern growing slightly.

“Well you know what they say!” Penny replied. “If you can’t handle the heat, then stay outta the truck! … But please don’t leave. I really need you here.”

“Wasn’t planning on going anywhere.” Billie said.

“Oh, uh, that’s good to know.” Penny replied, a slight blush dusting her cheeks.

She always felt a little awkward around Billie. Still trying to find ways to get closer to Billie, without making things too weird on accident. But she always ended up feeling a little weird anyways. She couldn’t help it, Billie was so cute. And it always made her a little nervous when it was just the two of them. And it always got worse when Penny was trying to impress her.

“How do we know when it’s hot enough?” Billie asked with a frown.

Penny thought for a moment before an idea came to her. She ran over to the sink. “Lemme try something. We use to do this all the time in chemistry class.”

Taking a little water, Penny flicked it onto the grill. Only to have it spatter and hiss immediately as it hit the hot surface.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, hopping away from the stove. “We’re sizzling!”

“Guess it’s hot enough?” Billie asked.

“If it can steam water, I’m sure it’ll steam these hams!” Penny said confidently.

Billie just watched the other girl and resisted the urge to intervene. “… Ok.”

“Ok so now that the grill’s hot, we gotta grease this up!” Penny continued. “And after that we grab the meat!”

“Please don’t set the truck in fire.” Billie quietly prayed in a hushed voice.

“Don’t worry, I won’t!” Penny said in a sing-song tone. “You know what I’m gonna do?”

“What?”

“I’m gonna cook up some tasty biogas!” Penny said in the thickest, fakest New York accent she could muster. “Bah-dah-bing, bah-dah-boom!”

“You’re really doing this?”

“You know it!” Penny said excitedly. “I promise, everything will be fine! Here we go-OH CRAP!”

Almost immediately, hot oil spattered everywhere.

Billie could only watch from the opposite side of the truck as Penny broke into an all-out battle with the grill. Hot bubbles of oil tried to burst and strike Penny. But she fought back with Tim’s trusty spatulas. Smacking the oil out of the way and flipping the burgers. It was a violent fight. At some points with all the sputtering oil, Billie swore she heard something screaming as Penny tried to flip the burgers.

With a little time, the burgers turned from blood red, to brown, to slightly crispy, to more charred-than-necessary. Finally the enemy was vanquished. Penny slapped some cheese on her former-enemies and served them up on buns and the works.

Grinning, Penny passed one of the finished-burgers to Billie.

“Soooo, how’d I do?”

By all appearances it didn’t look all that bad. It definitely looked like a hamburger. Really well-done. It was burned, but at least it was evenly burned. The bottom bun was really greasy, but then again most bottom buns always were.

Tentatively, Billie took a little bite. Chewing carefully. “Well… They aren’t as good as Tim’s… But they’re better than Zomburger’s.”

“Yay! I’ll take it!” Penny cheered brightly.

“Yep, you did it.” Billie added.

“No, we did it!” Penny said.

Billie looked at her curiously. “But I… I just sat here.”

“You gave me emotional support.” Penny replied. “And that’s the most important support of all!”

“Whatever you say.” Billie replied with a little sigh.

“Ok I need to go get some ice.” Penny replied, still smiling. “Cause I’m pretty sure I got burned!”

“I didn’t say anything rude-”

“Oh, no. I mean I think I literally burned myself on the grill.” Penny said.

“Ohhh” Billie said, growing concerned. “You good?”

“I’ll be ok, don’t worry about it!” Penny said. Pulling some ice from the fridge, wrapping it in some napkins and holding it to her hand. “It was just a little red.”

“You think you’ll be able to make burgers?” Billie asked. Not ready to drop the topic yet.

“I bet I can make a thousand burgers. Bummed hand and all!”

“Good.” Billie said before looking outside. “Cause I think a line’s starting to form.”

“What?” Hurrying over to the window, Penny saw a group milling around the truck. Each person safely 6-feet apart.

“Billie! Why didn’t you tell me?” Penny groaned.

“Eh,” Billie replied with a shrug. “You were busy. And I didn’t wanna rush you.”

“I guess better get cracking!” Penny replied. Setting her ice to the side and taking back up her trusty spatulas.

Billie couldn’t help but notice how bummed Penny looked, starring down at the grill with a nervous look. Clearly not looking forwards to more hot oil.

Then Billie got a sudden idea.

Looking over at Penny, she smiled and shot the girl some finger guns.

“Bah-dah-bing?”

Looking up Penny grinned back.

“Bah-dah-boom!”

That made both girls laugh a little.

And from the front of the car they heard Steve scream.

“HEY I’M WALKIN’ HERE!”


End file.
